Oh, my dear Miss Bennett. Unfortunately, this is a tough lesson that every kid goes through. And we have to go through it so we know how to handle it when it happens in adulthood – and it will.
There are a million reasons why kids choose to leave out other kids, and to take what kids say about you to heart is a grave mistake. The truth is most of the time kids don’t have a good reason for leaving other kids out, it’s a power struggle. For some reason when we are young we feel a strong need to be superior or powerful over others, either physically or emotionally.
Most kids do it once in a while, trying it out on different people, and they, too, get left out and cast aside from time to time.
The thing is that at some point, everyone experiences being the ‘odd man’ out. It’s hard to understand at 7 years old why someone is your best friend one day and the next won’t even talk to you. It’s hard for me to say this, but you might have done this to someone a time or two and just not realized how badly it can hurt.
There’s two things to remember here: 1. If it ever becomes more involved and hurtful than just saying they don’t want to play with you – like if they start being really mean or start hurting you physically, then you need to definately let a teacher know right away. Bullies can take things way too far, and you don’t need to be standing in their line of fire. 2. If you don’t feel threatened, but your feelings are hurt I want you to take a deep breath and simply say to yourself you wish that person happiness. You wish them happiness like what you experience every day. Then thank Jesus for living in your heart and for helping to guide you through your sad feelings.
And then forget about it immidiately and move on to something else. Dwelling on someone else’s behavior and wondering why they act the way they do and expecting them to change if they see you sad or crying is like expecting to be able to congtrol the rain. It just isn’t going to happen.
You can’t control other people and how they feel and what they say. As long as you know that you are wonderful, you feel love in your heart, and you are kind, then that is all you can do. You control your thoughts and your feelings and what kind of energy you put out into the world.
So, when you are in a moment that doesn’t feel right and people aren’t being kind to you, that is when you have to step up and be kind to yourself. Just because they don’t want to play with you doesn’t mean you aren’t a worthy person to play with. You don’t have to believe what they say just because they said it. You have a choice to see yourself through either loving eyes or judgmental eyes.
When in doubt I want you to look at yourself through my eyes, and tell yourself what I tell you every day: You are funny, creative, brilliant, helpful, kind, and you are beautiful, however your soul is a thousand times more beautiful than your outside. But, honestly, none of that matters. When you start to put value on what people compliment you about then you also put value on what people don’t like about you. And none of it matters. What matters is what you think of you.
As long as you lead with love, treat all with kindness, and live courageously, then you don’t need anyone’s approval – or disapproval. You will just be the best you that you can. And who wouldn’t want to be around a person like that?
I love you my Miss Bennett and you are always my hero.